Moving On, New Horizons

Sometimes finishing and walking away is even harder than starting something. Starting something is relatively simple; you sit down and start writing, or drawing, or you just start putting one foot in front of the other and start moving. Starting can be hard but its' simple, you just simply do it.
The same could potentially be said for finishing as well. You just simply stop doing what you were doing. However, breaking a habit, or a routine, isn't always easy. Change is hard, and when something has been a part of your life in a way for months, or years, it can be scary to say you're moving on. But healing.

When do you know when it's the end? When do you put down the pen and say, that's enough of this book, let's move onto a new one, the next adventure. Being able to let go of something that has felt so good for so long, even if the reasons never made sense, is easier said than done. At the beginning of this I just started writing, as hard as it was at times to find the words, or the topics, I just wrote, and it all worked out. Perhaps on the other end, things will simply start to make more sense as time goes on now that I've started to stop.

Whether you're fleeing from a fire-breathing dragon while being chased by a hoard of horseback riding, screaming madmen wielding deadly blades, and not knowing when to surrender, or you're standing on the outskirts waiting for the massacre to end, so you can surrender and hopefully live in peace afterwards, it's ultimately with what can you live with for yourself. Do you need to fight until the end for your pride, or can you realize when enough is enough and call a truce to save your men(tal health)?

Holding onto a security blanket, or a person, and believing that you're independent while using a crutch to stay "sane"...can you really claim that you're a strong, independent person? There's no shame in being weak sometimes. There's nothing wrong with leaning on someone else from time to time; I don't believe that having a source of pleasure in life that you can revel in from time to time when you are feeling most vulnerable makes you a weak individual. Everyone needs someone sometimes, whether it's a friendly soul to go out and have a relaxing beverage with, or a friendly okapi to snuggle into your shoulder, or a fat cat that claims your lap as their domain. Souls helping souls is what life is all about, no one can do it all on their own, as strong and independent as one might be, there is a point where vanity and pride can be a negative thing. There are other times when it's a benefit, everything in moderation, as always.

A wall of memories, a desk full of small notes, brochures and maps from places visited, any memento that reminds me of a person that has helped shape into who I am...moving all of the dusty cobwebs to make room for new memories is hard. It's a tangible reminder and representative of a big part of my life. Listening to "What If You", and the first lyrics are "What if you could wish me away....what if you spoke those words today?" I haven't felt like I've been in a bad place these last 7 years, in fact it's quite the opposite. I'm ready for a change though, something with a promise at the end and something that will inspire me to hope; big words for me to speak, I'm not 100% sold on that yet, so we'll see how it all works out.