Starting is the toughest part sometimes. Taking the first step, writing the first few words, saying hello...but once you get going, occasionally it flows naturally and easily. And if it doesn't, go with the flow and find a different approach. This book will be partly autobiography, partly philosophical, and maybe a little fictional. I'll leave it up to you to determine which bits are which!
Someone in my life challenged me to keep a notebook and to write down every awkward encounter that I have in 2017. I thought I would take it a step further and use this as an opportunity to create a compendium about my life. I would never expect my words to change a life or inspire a change, but if they can provide a sense of comfort or empathetic understanding, than I'll feel good. I don't have any answers, my life is an absolute wreck; but if sharing my experiences help someone else see that they aren't alone, or perhaps start them thinking creatively about situations in their life they wish to change, then this autobiography will be worth the time.
Do I start with a year? Or the people in my life? Or perhaps the trips I've been lucky enough to take, the trips that have each and every one taught me something new about myself? Or perhaps starting with the animals in my life that have inspired me would be easiest? I haven't read many autobiographies in my life; don't get me wrong, I love reading, but I prefer fiction over non, unless it's animal related. Perhaps I will simply start with what is most prevalent on my mind right now. People.
PeopleOf all of the people in my life, I have learned that the only person I can truly rely on is myself. Not because other people are unreliable, but because that is how we should be. We should, individually, be strong enough alone that having a shoulder to lean on is simply that, we shouldn't rely on another person for our happiness, or blame them for our misery, or wait on them to make a decision. Of course there are always times in our lives when we do need our friends and family, and even our frenemies and enemies. Perhaps a good start to this section will be to give some back story into how I view people and souls.
I was raised catholic. The type of catholic girl that went to church every Sunday, including Sunday school, and went through CCD all the way through confirmation (Mary was my patron saint). My beliefs now are different; I wouldn't call myself a Taoist, or a strictly religious person, but I do believe in a higher power, that I call God. I don't follow an organized religion but I do support those that do. I won't say that everyone Needs faith, but in a way we all do need something to believe in.
I believe in reincarnation. I believe in this because when I am at peace and open to listening, I feel it's real. I jokingly say that I am an old soul, but I believe it, too. Just recently I had a realization (sudden strong feeling), that in a past life I was killed by several severe stab wounds to my abdomen and my lover in that life held me close to his body after I passed. I later felt sharp pains in my abdomen akin to what I imagine caused that death. I realize that many people would find this ridiculous, maybe think I am crazy, maybe I am crazy. But I'm not working to convince others that this is the way of the world.
With reincarnation I believe in a soul mate, and in soul matches. For me, a soul match is a person that we knew in another life that is a good match for our souls. Perhaps it's simpler than this, perhaps there are many soul mates out there for each of us. But I feel like that waters down the significance of a soul mate. A person that we meet and regardless of where we are in life, we know they are more important to us than we realize. They are someone that brings us peace, someone that is our perfect match and fills in every broken line and gap we ever had in our lives. A soul match is someone that can be our other half, and even if it isn't seamless, it is incredible and similar to the way that the Chinese used to fix broken pottery with gold, a soul match can be our other half for the lifetimes when we are not meant to meet or be with our soul mate. Every soul is on a different path but the destination is the same. Each lifetime is an opportunity to take further steps to that destination of nirvana.
I know that I have found souls important to me in this life; whether they are matches or mates is sometimes tough to delineate, but they are key in this book. I will use alternate names to protect the identity of those I discuss. One of those souls will be called V, and the other will be Vince.